Ask Anne…
Answer: Having a baby who won’t latch on is one of the most frustrating things that new mothers have to deal with. I can assure you that it is a very common problem, and there are lots of things you can do to help her get the idea.
Mothers are usually back at home before their milk comes in. Most babies are not really hungry the first day or so, because they are born with extra fluid in their tissues and until they excrete it, they are usually not very interested in eating. This works out pretty well in most cases, because by the time they decide they are hungry on day 2 or 3, your milk is starting to come in. However, sometimes you and your baby aren’t completely in sync in the beginning, and that can cause some breastfeeding ‘bumps in the road’.
Your situation is very typical: the baby is a bit jaundiced and sleepy and not very interested in nursing during the 24 hour hospital stay. Once you get home, the excess fluids have worn off, the baby is hungry, your milk is in, and yet when you try to put her on the breast, she either pulls off and acts like you are trying to poison her, or she falls into a coma-like sleep and you can’t wake her up. Does this sound familiar?
The good news is that none of this is abnormal, and she will get the hang of it. Even though she is born with a strong sucking reflex, she has to learn how to attach to the breast and suckle properly so that the milk will let down and she will feel full. At the same time, you have to get the hang of how to hold and position her correctly and comfortably. Once you both accomplish this, she will make the connection between going on the breast and getting her tummy full, and she will LOVE to nurse.
It’s normal for babies to become agitated and fussy on the third or fourth day, because they are feeling hunger pangs for the first time. Their little tummies rumble and growl, and they don’t like this new feeling one bit. They have no way of knowing that if they go on the breast, they will get milk and feel good again. They will soon figure it out, but it is a learning process. Be patient and hang in there.
While you are both learning this new skill, it is important to make sure that she gets enough to eat. If she is frantically hungry and crying, she isn’t going to be in the mood to learn anything new. During these initial attempts at nursing, you may need to stop and give her some milk periodically if she becomes upset. It takes a great deal of patience, but she will figure it out soon and then you’ll be fine.
There are several things you can do to help:
Above all, don’t get discouraged. She will get the hang of it. Days three and four are usually the roughest, and the time when most mothers are likely to give up and switch to formula. There are many reasons for this: the physical stress your body has been through (you often just don’t feed good – even with a natural childbirth with no complications, you are still physically drained, and you may be dealing with additional stresses like constipation, hemorrhoids, episiotomy stitches, or recovering from a c-section), the hormonal upheavals, sleep deprivation, and the sometimes overwhelming pressure of being the one person totally responsible for the nourishment of this new little person in your life.
Do whatever you have to do to survive the first two weeks. If you have to use slings, swings, bottles, pacifiers, a glass of wine, pain medicine, or even formula, use them and don’t feel guilty about it. The most important thing is that you make sure your baby gets enough to eat while lowering your stress level, enjoying your baby, getting your strength back, and continuing nursing. It really won’t matter down the road, and sometimes using these things can make the difference between continuing to nurse or giving up in the early days, depriving you and your baby of the many benefits of breast milk.
Anne Smith, IBCLC
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